Damien Galeone

It’s Saturday at noon. I have accomplished all of my day’s goals. I have eaten an omelet the size of a bicycle tire. I have written for two hours, I have finished a book chapter.

I’m free! All I have to do now is meet a friend at 3 pm at our favorite pub. Not bad. I recline on the couch with my kindle and get into a Murakami story. A little later there’s a faint whisper coming from my kitchen. I look up and around, nothing there. I hear it again, a distinct whisper calling me to the kitchen.

I pique my ears. Maybe it’s the Murakami influence, as there are often unknown elements luring his characters to abnormal action. When I hear the whisper again, I get up and investigate. It turn out that a flask of Irish whiskey is calling my name.

“Top o’ the mornin’,” he says in a tinny lilt.

“Oh, hello,” I say. “It’s not morning anymore.”

“Moot point. I’m in your head.”

“Fair enough,” I say.

“Wouldn’t a shot of me taste so good in a mug of coffee right about now?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Hold on there, laddy, have you or have you not finished working for the day?”

“I have.”

“Well then. I am of the opinion that it would be rude not to have a drink.”

I have no immediate argument for or against this, so I start brewing a small pot of coffee and go over my options.

If you have ever Day Drank, you know that it happens in one of two ways. You either sort of accidentally find yourself drinking during the day, almost as if you tripped over a stool and landed liver-first on a bottle of rum. Other times you make an active decision: Yes, I am going to Day Drink.

I do not Day Drink very often anymore, as my old age has made its inclusion in my weekly routine highly disadvantageous for productivity, health, and in general exhibiting human traits such as consciousness and vertical posture. But every once in a while Day Drinking just seems like a great idea and that’s why I need a list of pluses and minuses.

The disadvantages are being too drunk too early. Now, Prague sees its fair-share of Day Drinkers. A Prague morning commute is incomplete without seeing a few guys knock back Božkovs and Braníks outside the train station. But still, I don’t want to be that guy. The one stumbling into the river at 2 pm. Moreover, if I start Day Drinking, I have to continue until later evening.

If I stop drinking in, say, the early evening, I get hungover in the night. And that’s no good, because that doesn’t negate the next day hangover, it’s only a prelude. So you get two hangovers for one drinking session and so by continuing to Day Drink, I can at least avoid one hangover.

One advantage to a little Day Drink is that it’s a mood booster for the rest of the day. Nothing seems to bother me. Additionally, it’s like having a secret from everyone else on the street. Why am I smiling, Bub? Wouldn’t you like to know! For this reason I almost pity those poor sober fools worrying about the future and real-life problems.

This is all part of the real magic of Day Drinking – it’s breaking the rules. By the time we are all settled, reasonable adults we know we shouldn’t drink during the day. And that’s why we don’t do it often as we get older. We know the consequences, both health and angst-related, and we know that when we Day Drink we feel like a bottom-dwelling associate of Hank Chinaski.

And that’s what makes Day Drinking so much fun from time to time.

I’ll save you the suspense. I add a shot (and a half) of that lovely brown liquid to my coffee. Then I head back to my book and let the adventure begin.

What is your favorite thing about Day Drinking?