Gone Hollywood

This weekend I kicked up the hornet’s nest by posting a strongly worded political comment on Facebook. As you have no doubt experienced, tempers flared, frustrations boiled over on both sides of the debate, and there was a melee.

While I really enjoy voicing my opinion, I don’t really enjoy pissing people off and even less watching people I like fight and squabble among themselves. I did feel a bit of sheepish regret about that, but not my opinion.

It was in the midst of this feud that a guy I met a handful of times and hadn’t seen in at least a decade attacked me by saying that I had a Hollywood Mindset. He clarified this by suggesting that while I was living a froufrou life overseas, I could keep my mouth shut as regards American affairs. Though it’s nowhere near the first time someone has suggested this, this is the first time someone has come out and said it so unpleasantly.

I disagree with this sentiment and find that most people (including my accuser) both have and voice strong opinions about places that are nowhere near them. I am no different. What really stuck in my head was being labelled the possessor of a Hollywood Mindset.

Though I’ve always had a secret fantasy of accepting an Oscar from George Clooney, I don’t think this is what he meant. I suppose he meant that I am preachy, liberal, and have a nice juicy superiority complex. And so, for the rest of the day I thought about it: Have I gone Hollywood?

I thought about the elements in my life and wondered if it was a teacher thing. Is it the subject of Academic Writing and the Argumentative Essay (with optional recitation) that makes me so smugly Hollywood? Perhaps it stems from the moderate money, the long hours, or the weekend preparation. Oh, maybe it’s an expatriate thing that does it. I mean, there is an extreme arrogance that comes from spending half your life in linguistic confusion and frustration, or from trying to adapt to a culture foreign to yours. I bet that’s part of it.

Still, I was not near understanding what made my mindset so Hollywood. Wracked with confusion and Becherovka I made a list of my daily doings thus far and analyzed them for traces of superiority. I decided that aside from an overly fussy ear cleaning regimen and a tendency to read for ten minutes after waking up, I don’t think I fall into Prima Donna territory.

I would like to go Hollywood, but I am afraid I don’t have what it takes to do so. A list of things that makes one Hollywood would be a great start.  Superior people wear berets, right? I guess I could do that, but they don’t look right on me. Perhaps I could work my cat into my new Hollywood narrative.

Oh well. I guess I’ll never really know what my new Hollywood Mindset is all about. It’s probably for the best, though, I don’t want to piss off any more of the little people out there who made this night possible. Thank you, George.

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