Podcast Workout Guy

I have been working out regularly (at least 4 times a week) for three years now. And as much as I never thought I would, I have become a Workout Guy.

OK, not really. From what I gather, real Workout Guys (and Girls) are far larger or more cut than I am. They speak in terminology that leaves me more confused than the jargon I suffered at a recent phonetics conference. But mostly, real Workout People have the ability to do a gazillion pull-ups and smash beer cans with a minor selection of fingers.

No, I mean that I have gotten into working out. I used to say that I was into working out, but I wasn’t. It was just a reaction to justify the five hours a week I spent doing it. Yeah, I love working out. No I didn’t. That was a lie. The same lie I would occasionally tell about meditation and Avante-garde jazz. Oh I am into meditation. No. I closed my eyes three times a week and fantasized about slipping certain students onto the rack, I don’t think the Dalai Lama is handing me any awards anytime soon.

But now I actually talk about working out with select friends. “Select” meaning those with whom I can compare notes about reps and form or, at least, those who can refrain from rolling their eyes while I talk about reps and form. One day my “most visited” sites included a workout site and it wasn’t a fluke. I’m just as likely to look at a guy’s body as I am a woman’s, wondering if it was simply squats that earned him such buff quads.

I have found the best way to get through my workout is entertainment. Since I am in too many weird positions to watch TV, this means podcasts. Plus, I think watching TV while doing burpees would make me motion sick.

My podcasts of choice are usually Lore or Star Talk. If you aren’t familiar with either, I highly recommend these both. Lore is billed as “the dark history behind common folklore” and you couldn’t attract me to program more if it was called “How Damien Galeone can get skinny eating hamburgers.” This podcast is everything I love. It’s creepy, about history, involves mysteries, and is well researched.

Another fantastic podcast is Star Talk, in which Neil deGrasse Tyson and a co-host talk about science and space. They do so in a manner that is accessible and interesting for laypeople, and that’s what attracts me to it. I am as baffled by science as Donald Trump is by the duties of an American President.

I guess entertainment during a workout is an old concept. Traditionally, this makes me think of a bunch of guys lifting weights and listening to Megadeath. I had a friend in college who used to do yoga while watching reruns of Northern Exposure and Highlander. It’s common to jog while listening to the news, podcasts, or audiobooks. If baseball didn’t exist, my dad’s exercise bike would be a multi-armed clothes rack.

I guess it’s how we can get ourselves to work out. Maybe the trick isn’t finding a workout you like doing, as much as it’s finding a source of entertainment that will allow you to get through it without weeping. Evidently, there’s nothing that gets me to do it more than quasars, black holes, or grisly unsolved murders in 1880 Cape Cod. I tried to listen to comedy podcasts, but hysterical laughter is not conducive to doing pull-ups.

So it turns out I’m not a Workout Guy as much as I’m a Podcast Workout Guy. Hey, maybe I can become a Podcast Meditation Guy next!

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