Who Does What?

Of the places I have been, Ireland and the Czech Republic do pubs better than anyone else, despite massive differences in approach. Both places value pubs with character and a bit of grime, a homey and comfortable place where you aren’t afraid to lean on the tables in fear of getting yelled at by someone’s mother. Their pubs are places where people go drink beer and shots and talk. This is in contrast perhaps to the more gentrified American pubs, where you may order a craft beer, but feel as though you could be ordering a two-toned drink with a piece of fruit floating around in it. And chia seeds. In a jar.

Czech waiters will shush you if you’re too “loud” and might make you sit where they want you to sit. There’s not a lot of intermixing between tables and groups, but there’s a great pub feel to it all. Chatter, discussion, laughter, the satisfying thump of a fresh tankard of beer landing on your beermat. Others gather around tables and one has the correct sense that the pub has been the center of Czech society for a long time.

The Irish will rouse you if you’re too “quiet.” The barman will talk to you as if he’s been waiting around all day just to do so. But he is a careful artist at the taps. The other drinkers will pull you into conversation, instantly begin making fun of you like an old friend. In twenty minutes you’ll leave your belongings with them as you run to the ATM. They’ll somehow get you to start singing. If you don’t laugh gaily in an Irish pub, then you can’t laugh gaily.

Americans do hospitality and pampering. This is no left-handed compliment. We will simply do anything we can to make you more comfortable than you have ever been. I am far more excited ordering food in an American restaurant than I am in a Czech restaurant. This comes straight from the ordering process, which, in an American restaurant, takes place over about three minutes of question and answers in order to fully cater to my needs a that moment. How do you want that cooked? Do you want truffle juice in those mashed potatoes? Would you like me to bring you a fresh beer when your food comes out? I find this dessert goes best after this meal, would you like me to reserve one for you? One gets the impression that their waiter has thought of anything and everything to make their dining experience as tailor made as it can be. In the Czech Republic a similar order would be like this:

Waiter: What’ll it be?

Me: Cheeseburger.

Waiter: OK.

Me: Oh…can I get that medium please?

Waiter (sighing and rolling eyes): I’m not sure; because [enter complete bullshit reason here].

Me: Thank you.

Perhaps it’s an extension of this pampering hospitality that makes the Americans do the heat far better than the Czechs. We Americans don’t like heat. We like cold beer and put ice cubes in almost every drink. We cornered the market on cold and frozen versions of coffee. When the intense heat comes during a Philadelphia summer, we do not like to be uncomfortable for a moment. My dad has a system of fans and air-conditioning in his bedroom that not only requires a sweater to withstand, but also makes conversation impossible. Each restaurant and pub becomes an igloo, to step into a shop is to walk into the arctic. And if it weren’t, nobody would go into that shop.

Japan is the only place I’ve been that does heat better. Last summer in Japan the heat was so boggy and muggy that to step outside was to be doused. Combine that with ten miles of walking in the daytime and you have a seriously overheated Gaijin. However, each restaurant and shop was intensely air-conditioned and before taking an order, a waiter brought a frozen towel for your neck and a bottomless pitcher of ice water.

The Czechs do not buy into this sort of frigid temperate culture. One might suggest that this is an extension of their laissez faire attitude to customer service, but it’s more a cultural thing. The Czechs do not love cold. An open window on public transport in May is a nightmare for the Czech neck, scarves are tightened and collars are hinched up. Shops and stores out of the center are rarely air-conditioned. When we asked the school to provide a portable air-conditioner for test taking students, they regarded us as though we had asked for space ships to bring them home afterwards.

A recent heatwave in Prague is surely the fodder for this post. The one fan I have blows lazily at its own leisure. The weather won’t cooperate. The storm clouds have rolled in everyday only to laugh at us sufferers beneath them, while simultaneously making it more humid and withholding the very juice that will relieve the humidity. The irony is palpable. Or maybe it’s my lip sweat. There is no respite when this happens in Prague, as the malls and movie theaters are, though air conditioned, only slightly cooler than outside. It’s a massive misuse of such a resource.

Perhaps we could instill a cultural exchange program. The Czechs can teach us how to run a true, honest to goodness, no hipster crap pub. And we can teach them how to properly use air-conditioning. In any event, until they can figure it out, I’ll be at the pub. It’s not air-conditioned, but after two beers I don’t worry about the heat anymore.

  1. #1 by http://cnc2.sitey.me/ on June 21, 2018 - 9:06 pm

    You know your projects stand out of the herd. There is something special about them. It seems to me all of them are really brilliant!

  2. #2 by Lenka on June 22, 2018 - 3:14 pm

    Ahah. This is so true!! I love the ordering in a Czech restaurant part. I always have the feeling I should be excusing myself for bothering waiters with my “stupid” order.

  3. #3 by Website design and development on June 23, 2018 - 4:32 pm

    Really impressed! Everything is very open and very clear clarification of issues. It contains truly facts. Your website is very valuable. Thanks for sharing.

  4. #4 by Quickbooks Support Number on June 24, 2018 - 8:21 am

    I quite like reading an article that can make people think. Also, thanks for allowing for me to comment!

  5. #5 by Finance on June 29, 2018 - 7:46 pm

    I would recommend my profile is important to me, I invite you to discuss this topic..

  6. #6 by surface cleaning near me on July 5, 2018 - 1:30 pm

    Actually I read it yesterday but I had some thoughts about it and today I wanted to read it again because it is very well written.

  7. #7 by Digital Marketing Dubai on July 8, 2018 - 8:11 am

    Writing with style and getting good compliments on the article is quite hard, to be honest.But you’ve done it so calmly and with so cool feeling and you’ve nailed the job. This article is possessed with style and I am giving good compliment. Best!

  8. #8 by storspelare on July 9, 2018 - 12:39 pm

    Very interesting blog. Alot of blogs I see these days don’t really provide anything that I’m interested in, but I’m most definately interested in this one. Just thought that I would post and let you know.

  9. #9 by tents uae on July 10, 2018 - 9:57 am

    Hi buddies, it is great written piece entirely defined, continue the good work constantly.

  10. #10 by https://sites.google.com/view/tonneau/home on July 17, 2018 - 12:00 am

    I admit, I have not been on this web page in a long time… however it was another joy to see It is such an important topic and ignored by so many, even professionals. I thank you to help making people more aware of possible issues.

  11. #11 by VirtualDJ Crack on July 20, 2018 - 9:00 am

    I would recommend my profile is important to me, I invite you to discuss this topic..

  12. #12 by Naagin 3 on July 22, 2018 - 1:50 pm

    What a really awesome post this is. Truly, one of the best posts I’ve ever witnessed to see in my whole life. Wow, just keep it up.

  13. #13 by Naagin 3 on July 22, 2018 - 1:51 pm

    The material and aggregation is excellent and telltale as comfortably.

  14. #14 by Independence day status for facebook on July 22, 2018 - 8:46 pm

    Thank you for your post, I look for such article along time, today i find it finally. this post give me lots of advise it is very useful for me.

  15. #15 by Independence day meme on July 23, 2018 - 8:34 pm

    Took me time to understand all of the comments, but I seriously enjoyed the write-up. It proved being really helpful to me and Im positive to all of the commenters right here! Its constantly nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I am certain you had enjoyable writing this write-up.

  16. #16 by traditional on July 25, 2018 - 8:36 am

    Actually I read it yesterday but I had some thoughts about it and today I wanted to read it again because it is very well written.

Comments are closed.