The Late-December Feeding Ritual of the Short-legged Galeone


Piled baboons 2The short-legged, Northeastern Galeone has a peculiar feeding ritual in mid-December. Today, we’re braving its wrath to visit its habitat for a close-up look at this unique natural ritual.

The first part of the ritual is reconnaissance. That is, in his turn, each Galeone male comes by with a fabricated task meant to survey the cuisine and his competition.

“I’ve been sent here to get a bottle opener,” says one middle-aged male. He begins to scan the room in search of the culinary information he desires.

“You’re holding the bottle opener,” says one of the cooking Galeones.

After a few more moments he says “yes.” Then places it on the table and leaves the room.

The second, and a vital part of this ritual is distraction. To a great degree, males accomplish this with sports and alcohol. Females accomplish this by focusing on any babies to a hysterical degree.

The males open drinks consisting of yeast or pour drinks consisting of rye and sit in comfortable chairs around a large box that depicts moving pictures of large men hitting each other. This box is revered by the males. Often, when something of note happens to one of the large males running around on the magic box, one (or all) of the males will let out a great bellow. This is interspersed between shouts, laughing and groans (usually from one of the older males).

Every once in a while, one of the males will inquire to the others the time of feeding. Nobody ever answers him. This seems to be a rite of passage, though its intention is unknown.

The females discuss everything about the kids while drinking grape-based alcoholic beverages and shooting occasional comments into the other room at the males.

No matter what is happening, when the feeding period is signalled by the matriarch, everyone stops their activity and goes to the food room. Here, the short-legged Galeone pretends to be pleasant and generous, but there is an underlying sense of danger and hostility. For this reason, everyone’s movements are careful, tactful and planned. The trip to the food room is followed by a period of linguistic silence. The only sounds are those of fast-paced eating and drinking. Sometimes a grunt is made to procure a condiment or a seasoning.

The males spend the post-feeding period sleeping in chairs or visiting small, private rooms which are unapproachable for a long while after use. The females spend the time cleaning and organizing the transference of small packages that are wrapped in colorful paper.

At the end of the ritual the Northeastern, short-legged Galeones extend genuine salutations and talk of future meetings. Then they leave into the night.

The mystery of this late-December ritual will probably never be cracked, but we are hopeful since our data is piling up and our grant has been renewed. Next, we want to observe the summer meeting of the family in the beginning of July and centered on grilled meats and flaming sticks. To make this possible, please donate today.

  1. #1 by Lee on December 27, 2011 - 7:59 am

    How does one go about disguising oneself to observe the SLNG in relative safety? I heard about one National Geographic photographer who mentioned using a duck blind cleverly disguised as a bacon covered beef roast to observe this breed during thanksgiving.
    He was never seen again…

  2. #2 by Damien Galeone on December 27, 2011 - 2:12 pm

    Lee, as best as I can figure, the observer should cover himself in carrots. Roast beef was just a bad idea, and we all know it. He really brought that on himself.

  3. #3 by Andy on December 28, 2011 - 9:47 pm

    Lee, I’d wager that a small fort built exclusively of empty cases of non-alcoholic beer could also be used.

Comments are closed.