Thank You Very Much…Pass the Bourbon.


glug glugI am staring at the site stats of my blog with depressing interest. I hit the refresh button a few times and finally it happens. The total views go from 9,999 to 10,000 hits and I celebrate, like a hillbilly who’s just watched the odometer of his Chevy pickup go from 9,999 to 10,000 miles. But instead of drinking a Bud Light and wearing a mesh baseball cap, I’m drinking a glass of Maker’s Mark and wearing a bathrobe.
It is the holidays after all.
My mother calls my blog followers my “cute, little followers.” This has no real meaning as “cute” and “little” are the only two adjectives my mom uses. She would refer to herpes as a cute, little STD. My brother calls the 10,000 viewers my “Wilt Chamberlain Fan Club.” But that would suggest a relationship with most of you that is misleading. I wanted to call you the 10,000 Maniacs, but there is very little call for Natalie Merchant references these days.This all means that there have been 10,000 viewers on my blog since
late June, and that means that I have irritated new people, and some repeatedly more than 10,000 times in the last six months.
Now, let’s forget that blogs offering nude celebrities get 908 million views in any given three minutes. And that by saying the words “How to make money” you will ensure 6 million views in two days. This blog is about the meandering adventures of a near-sociopathic cat enthusiast and you still read it, so you are my special 10,000.
And you shall be rewarded. But how?
I have been thinking about how I could repay you folks for reading. A brainstorm resulted in a Christmas picture of me and the B Monster. This was rejected when the cat refused to put on the elf hat. Other possible rewards included a theme party and (cute, little) party favors. But I would be depressed when only Collin and Lee showed up and plus I don’t have any money.And then inspiration hit.I like the idea of the readers being in control of my idiocy for once. And this, combined with the stress of the holidays, led to one conclusion – a night of drinking.

I can’t bring all of you drinking with me, but I think it’s time for the readers to choose what I drink for a night. Basically, you choose my line up of shots and I will drink them. And if I can remember anything, I’ll write about it.

So, if you’d like to punish me, and most of you do, write a shot you want me to have in the comment section of this blog and I will choose and drink ten of them. Preference is given to those people who often comment on the blog (Gabby, Emma, be nice!) so they will automatically be selected and the rest will be put in a hat and drawn by my attractive assistant – Christopher Galeone. Then he will make sure that I drink them.

And even more importantly, it will be Monday’s post. It will be a shot by shot account of this evening.

So, once again, thank you very much for your support. The (cute, little) comments I get and the enjoyment some of you have had while reading the blog make writing it totally worth while.

Now, choose my shots!
  1. #1 by Kwynn on December 29, 2011 - 4:39 pm

    3 wise men. -Pucker up buttercup and get ready for a ride!

  2. #2 by Chris on December 29, 2011 - 4:40 pm

    If I can choose a shot (I forget if I’m allowed considering I will probably drink many of these) I would say Kettle One… Let’s get it started classy and straight.

  3. #3 by Chris on December 29, 2011 - 4:41 pm

    I knew a 3 wise men would make it’s way here.. Didn’t think it would be this soon… This is gonna be along night Dame

  4. #4 by Meghan on December 29, 2011 - 4:48 pm

    AJ bombs. It’s southern comfort and red bull. After three you’ll hate yourself.

  5. #5 by Gabrielle on December 29, 2011 - 4:59 pm

    Knob Creek. It can be sipped. I won’t be offended. Enjoy!

  6. #6 by Emma on December 29, 2011 - 5:24 pm

    hmmmm. tough one. jack? too easy. bech? too hard to get there, i’m presuming. i think a b52 would be my choice. please drink it early on, in order NOT to set yourself on fire. i have done this, whilst also igniting a pub table and two cushions, so if it happens to you, i shan’t be too harsh in my judgement…

  7. #7 by Joker on December 29, 2011 - 6:22 pm

    Have a Matachin. This is one of my own, of which I’m rather proud. 1.5 Tequila, 1.5 coconut rum, and a splash of grenadine, chilled and shaken. I named it after a Spanish sword dance.

  8. #8 by Cozi on December 29, 2011 - 6:27 pm

    My vote is for a ‘creme your jeans’ (Creme de Menthe, Kahlua, Vodka), but mostly because ordering it is the equivalent of a penis or fart joke in a shot glass, and we all know that is the best way to increase blog views (penis and fart jokes never go out of style).

  9. #9 by Damien Galeone on December 29, 2011 - 7:22 pm

    These are great, guys. But boy, am I screwed! This may have been a better idea in theory than in practice…haha.

  10. #10 by Fran on December 29, 2011 - 8:09 pm

    I’ll vote for the only real ‘bohemian’ drink: absinth. The one with burnt sugar please! It’s great because you can play with fire, talk about green fairys without seeing suspicious looks and it can make you feel strange and funny – or just tired. And – don’t cut off your ear please 😉 F.

  11. #11 by Devon on December 29, 2011 - 8:59 pm

    Throw a red-headed slut into the mix and you’re having a great time.

  12. #12 by Damien Galeone on December 29, 2011 - 9:21 pm

    I’d love to Dev, what are you doing that night? haha. A. I know you are blonde. B. I know you’re not a slut. C. I have run out of excuses to make sure you don’t kill me for that comment. Oh wait, D. I love you.

  13. #13 by Dave on December 29, 2011 - 10:48 pm

    Oil slick, for old tImes sake.

  14. #14 by Marcelle on December 30, 2011 - 12:07 am

    Jager Bomb. Not unusual or witty, but you’ll need to keep your energy up.

  15. #15 by KTZ on December 30, 2011 - 10:18 am

    I’d go for Becherovka! But you might not be able to get it there. So, no matter what you choose, enjoy!

  16. #16 by Lee on December 30, 2011 - 11:50 am

    Buttery nipple. For old times sake.

  17. #17 by Andy on January 2, 2012 - 3:45 pm

    Screaming Orgasm. For old times sake.

Comments are closed.