{"id":1269,"date":"2013-02-04T10:00:45","date_gmt":"2013-02-04T09:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1269"},"modified":"2013-03-24T01:39:24","modified_gmt":"2013-03-24T00:39:24","slug":"diner-americana-combover","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1269","title":{"rendered":"Diner: Americana Combover"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"A1<\/a>It\u2019s Sunday morning and I am doing my morning routine. Relaxing, listening to jazz – Horace Silver\u2019s Song for my Father,<\/i> and my kitchen is one huge cardiovascular health nightmare. There are strips of bacon sizzling, home fries in the oven, bread being turned to toast and a pot of strong coffee brewing on the rocket launcher. My flat surely smells like that combination of deliciousness and congestive heart failure which I miss so much.<\/p>\n

If my cat were in an apron and beanie shouting diner lingo at the end of a rip line full of order slips, this would be the perfect diner. And maybe a gravelly-voiced waitress with a facial deformity.<\/p>\n

Today, however, I am more hell-bent on creating a breakfast as diner authentic as possible. In the world of Eidam, I have found the closest relative to processed American cheese, the only cheese with which to make a true omelet ala greasy spoon. I’ve enlisted the help of Rachel Ray \u2013 the chubby man\u2019s Scarlett Johansson \u2013 to make home fries and have taken her heart safe advice by adding three cubes of butter to my egg mix.<\/p>\n

There are so many pluses to living in Europe. It\u2019s socially liberal, especially about lifestyle choices that involve your body, sex, drugs and alcohol. The architecture is older than your grandmother and the history sometimes doesn\u2019t involve screwing a bunch of natives out of land. Furthermore, there is the open-minded perspective that comes from being exposed to cultures that are not your own for an extended period of time. And there\u2019s an entire world of language to learn. Oh, and then there are women, beer and good public transport, not in any particular order, of course.<\/p>\n

However, an American living in Europe relinquishes a slew of minor things that they might see as comforting and domestic. I crave Dill pickles for non-Freudian reasons. At any given time of the night I am prone to looking at Google images of Philadelphia Cheesesteaks, bagels and lox, Nathan\u2019s hotdogs and people wearing sandals and no socks.<\/p>\n

Despite my list, these relinquished items are not always gastronomical. For instance, enjoying sports is not the same. Sure, we can watch baseball, hockey and football. But with the time difference, watching a 7 p.m. baseball or hockey game means waking up at 1 a.m. to watch it in the middle of the night. Even if we could watch earlier, there\u2019s no option to walk down the street to a local bar and drink Miller High Lives while bitching about the Phillies\u2019 middle relievers.<\/p>\n

Football isn\u2019t enjoyed the same when you watch it on your computer in your kitchen while preparing gula\u0161. You have to be surrounded by dips, chips, spreads, bad beer and professional adults who devolve into college kids when they put on a jersey and yell at the TV.<\/p>\n

I have always hated the Superbowl for a few reasons. First, the Eagles have almost never been in it in my lifetime. Second, there is no word or phrase to describe the ridiculous amount of hype and bullshit that surrounds one usually disappointing, game. And frankly, the Superbowl half time show should involve two post-prime singers Andalusia knife fighting to the death.<\/p>\n

Still, I am sure that Monday morning will see my read my favorite news outlet, Facebook, and knowing that the Superbowl probably prompted this morning\u2019s Americana diner experience. At least I won\u2019t have to listen to America\u2019s living wind tunnel, John Madden. I don\u2019t care if he\u2019s involved in the Superbowl at all, it is just a general statement.<\/p>\n

I have to go now, I swear the cat just shouted, \u201cOrder up! Cheese, pigs and side of fries!\u201d But would someone please have a cheesesteak for me later today or maybe a good old Reuben with a Dill on the side?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s Sunday morning and I am doing my morning routine. Relaxing, listening to jazz – Horace Silver\u2019s Song for my Father, and my kitchen is one huge cardiovascular health nightmare. There are strips of bacon sizzling, home fries in the oven, bread being turned to toast and a pot of strong coffee brewing on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-kt","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1269"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1359,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions\/1359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}