{"id":1328,"date":"2013-03-11T10:54:11","date_gmt":"2013-03-11T09:54:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1328"},"modified":"2013-03-24T01:36:21","modified_gmt":"2013-03-24T00:36:21","slug":"customer-disservice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1328","title":{"rendered":"Customer Disservice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Black<\/a>Nobody will look at me, but I am used to it. I\u2019m in a shop in the Czech Republic, after all. After a few minutes of making my \u2018genial man in need\u2019 face \u2013 raised eyebrows, soft eye contact, slight backwards nod, smile so as to appear harmless \u2013 a man finally notices me. This works out well for him since it must be far more rewarding to notice me, ignore me and then walk away.<\/p>\n

I wait for a few more minutes, make the face, but draw no attention. Everyone seems to have gone on break at the same moment. I step out of the shop and back into the mall with its global demographic of teens, old people, screeching children, goths and that guy carrying a radio and wearing suspenders. Judge them though I may, once entering a mall you become part of that demographic. It\u2019s like the Borg; I have been assimilated.<\/p>\n

I am at the mall because today I have a task. I have to exchange a sweater.<\/p>\n

I approach the customer service window at Tesco and I begin to get nervous. Dealing with anything customer service related in the Czech Republic is always iffy, sort of like ordering steak in a train station. Any interaction with a Czech working in a customer service capacity \u2013 waiter, check out, shop keeper \u2013 has the overwhelming tendency to end in frustration, disappointment, anger, confusion and the eventual fantasy of a complete stranger being eviscerated by mountain rats. Waiters have tried to talk me into eating a mistaken order because returning it would mean more work for them, even though it was their mistake. The albino gent working at my local shop scans my items in between video clips, text messages and mocking his one-legged coworker.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s just customer service in general; I am now approaching the place called \u2018customer service.\u2019 Still, I have a sweater, a receipt and my genial man face at the ready. I step up to the counter and raise my eyebrows.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood day,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood day. I\u2019d like to exchange this, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

She takes the sweater and immediately begins shaking her head. She turns the sweater over and looks at the various tags. \u201cYou don\u2019t have a receipt?\u201d<\/p>\n

I hand it to her. She actually seems disappointed as she takes it from me and inspects it through, no kidding, a magnifying glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to exchange?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I have to see if we have the same sweater then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can only exchange it for the same sweater.\u201d<\/p>\n

And there it is.<\/p>\n

Even as a bead of sweat travels down my spine I cannot help letting out a giggle. There is always a catch; some inconceivable rule which allows them to say their favorite word to a customer: No. \u2018No, that coupon is valid only every third Monday, not this one,\u2019 or \u2018No, you can\u2019t sit there, it\u2019s reserved for people with yellow hair,\u2019 or \u2018No, sorry, you have to get the same sweater that you\u2019re returning.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but, I want to exchange it because I don\u2019t like it. I\u2019d like to get something different.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adding to my strife is the fact that a person has nudged up beside me in hopes of engaging the woman for a task that apparently takes precedence over mine and therefore supersedes the natural rules of a queue. The woman, a squat pale thing that resembles the squat pale child behind her, stands so close to me that I could bite her neck, an action I am considering doing. The woman behind the counter, for her part, does not pay any attention to my new friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

She leans across the counter as though she\u2019s about to betray government secrets. I lean in, as does my new friend. We are in a huddle. \u201cI know, but I can do one thing for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d I am excited.<\/p>\n

She looks around her. \u201cI will give you the money,\u201d she whispers, ensuring that none of her superiors will catch her being helpful.<\/p>\n

I nod and my new friend goggles her eyes, obviously incapable of understanding what has just happened. She counts out my money and it\u2019s so close to working out that I hold my breath. It\u2019s like the split second before a plane touches down, I just can\u2019t believe it\u2019s going to be OK.<\/p>\n

She hands me the cash and I give her the most meaningful \u201cthank you\u201d I have ever uttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are welcome,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd your Czech is very good.\u201d<\/p>\n

I rejoin the Borg, unable to figure out what just happened. I stow my mountain rats for another day, another person, and eat a bit of crow on my way out the door.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nobody will look at me, but I am used to it. I\u2019m in a shop in the Czech Republic, after all. After a few minutes of making my \u2018genial man in need\u2019 face \u2013 raised eyebrows, soft eye contact, slight backwards nod, smile so as to appear harmless \u2013 a man finally notices me. This […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-lq","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1328"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1349,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328\/revisions\/1349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}