{"id":1509,"date":"2013-06-13T10:29:49","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T08:29:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1509"},"modified":"2013-07-28T18:32:58","modified_gmt":"2013-07-28T16:32:58","slug":"you-are-assimilated-deal-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1509","title":{"rendered":"You Are Assimilated – Deal With It!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Borg<\/a>We\u2019ve just watched James Tiberius Kirk, rebellious and adventurous Captain of the Starship Enterprise, kick some butt. He kicked Klingon butt, he kicked Star Trek villain butt, and he even kicked a little human butt. He was joined in these adventures, of course, by Spock, Bones, Scotty, Sulu, a few very attractive ladies, and a bunch of doomed guys in red shirts.<\/p>\n

The cinema is full of the exact people you expect will see Star Trek at an IMAX cinema. The room is a testament to the chubby white male. And Collin. Though there are only ten women in the room, there are well over 200 breasts. I mock these people, and yet I resemble them so much so that I could be on a poster for the movie called: Chubby White Trekkie.<\/p>\n

I realize this as I poke my fun: I somehow set myself apart from these people. Even more alarming is the realization that this isn\u2019t the first time I have mocked a group that I belong to.<\/p>\n

I despise the expatriate community of Prague, though I am literally a card carrying member of that group. I do all of the same things as the people in that group. I speak passable Czech, date Czech women far out of my league, write in a journal, and once said Bohumil Hrabal was \u2018brilliant.\u2019 And yet, I don\u2019t consider myself the average expat, despite all evidence to the contrary.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s more.<\/p>\n

I am short and pudgy; though believe that having a beard and a sense of humor gives me some sort of \u2018get out of chubby jail free\u2019 card. I stand in a parade of annoying tourists and think that just because I am humming the Indiana Jones theme in my head that I am not one of them, but on some grand, death defying adventure.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a guy who has a cat. I\u2019m that<\/i> cat guy. I live alone with a cat, feed it from my plate, put hats on it when I\u2019m bored, and sometimes say things like \u201cDaddy\u2019s got a headache,\u201d to stop it from mewing at me.<\/p>\n

And I don\u2019t consider myself one of those<\/i> cat people. Why? Probably because I don\u2019t blog or Facebook about my cat often\u2026.oh wait. Damn!<\/p>\n

I guess it\u2019s all human nature to think you are somehow special, and therefore defy consignment into a group. And boy is that pretty clear today as we walk out of the theatre into the main lobby.<\/p>\n

I stand in a bathroom of me\u2019s peeing, then walk out with the group of me\u2019s and then stand in a roomful of me\u2019s talking excitedly about Cumberbatch\u2019s Khan vs. Montalb\u00e1n\u2019s <\/b>Khan (psychotic genius and classic villain), the absence of earwigs (interesting departure from the original), and the occasional dip into continuity, (there were a few plot holes, which I choose to ignore).<\/p>\n

We leave just as the lobby full of me\u2019s start minor guerrilla skirmishes of the perennial Kirk vs. Picard debate, which is even too ridiculous for me.<\/p>\n

Cause it\u2019s totally Picard.<\/p>\n

Folks! What group do you deny being part of?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve just watched James Tiberius Kirk, rebellious and adventurous Captain of the Starship Enterprise, kick some butt. He kicked Klingon butt, he kicked Star Trek villain butt, and he even kicked a little human butt. He was joined in these adventures, of course, by Spock, Bones, Scotty, Sulu, a few very attractive ladies, and a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-ol","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1509"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1570,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509\/revisions\/1570"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}