{"id":1664,"date":"2013-09-19T11:19:49","date_gmt":"2013-09-19T09:19:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1664"},"modified":"2013-09-19T15:28:17","modified_gmt":"2013-09-19T13:28:17","slug":"to-twerk-or-not-to-twerk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1664","title":{"rendered":"To Twerk or Not to Twerk"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It\u2019s time to look at the Internet.<\/p>\n

That means drawing the curtains, locking the front door, and putting tape over the webcam. The ultimate amount of care is put into hiding this activity. Well, that is until I write it here for my vast flock of followers and readers (aka: my mom and her sister\u2019s neighbor).<\/p>\n

Just when I get the cat out of the room \u2013 she doesn\u2019t need to share in my shame either \u2013 I sit in front of the computer box and type into a search engine: twerk<\/p>\n

I recently read a story about the Lykov family in Siberia. This family has been so far removed from civilization for so long that they have completely missed all of world history\u2019s recent fun times. So while the Lykovs have been tending their farm in sunny and pleasant Siberia, they have missed pretty much everything that has happened in the world. They have never heard of minor events like World War II, Sputnik, or 9\/11. They know nothing of Vladimir Putin, The Beatles, John F. Kennedy, or Damien Galeone.<\/p>\n

Amazing.<\/p>\n

When it comes to trending news, I often feel like the Lykovs. I don\u2019t love pop culture or trending topics, so I largely avoid them. The advantages of this include not getting into a froth over ridiculously stupid things, a general sense of (albeit false) superiority, and a Mad Libs approach to pop culture events. That is, I am free to see a picture of some young lady \u2018twerking\u2019 and attach a rather fun zombie story to it instead of whatever the hell she might actually be doing.<\/p>\n

The downside is that I am often so removed from these pop culture tidbits and the seven-headed reference system that comes along with them that I am lost in a lot of conversation, both online and face to face. Even though this removal is largely willful, it\u2019s rather unpleasant being on the outside. Sort of like a Baptist at a comedy club or a Trekkie, well, anywhere.<\/p>\n

And so, I fake a lot of my understanding of cultural commentary, memes, and pop culture references. I laugh and make some nondescript comment like, \u201cOh man, how ridiculous is that?\u201d or \u201cThat\u2019s crazy, isn\u2019t it?\u201d and then I jot notes. These accumulate throughout the week and then I check them out on the Internet under lockdown conditions. Research is my friend. Recent terms have included Juggalo, Heisenberg, Bridezilla, and Reddit.<\/p>\n

I have been surprised by my research. I thought Bridezilla was something written by Mary Shelley and that Reddit was an amphibious character on South Park. I thought a juggalo was a gigolo who juggled a day job and some kids.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s twerking, which I honestly thought was a breakfast pastry of some sort. You really do learn something new everyday. Or at least when you lock down the flat and do some research.<\/p>\n

I find a basic description of \u2018twerking\u2019 and then read about the recent hoopla (don\u2019t judge my terminology, for I am old) surrounding it. I may or may not twerk my way to the bathroom before the cat bows her head in shame. Ultimately I decide that I could care less about this trendy phenomenon. Maybe I\u2019ll visit the Lykovs and help them learn about the frightening new world. Or maybe I\u2019ll just visit the Lykovs and work on their farm. Maybe I\u2019ll teach them how to twerk.<\/p>\n

Alas, my research time comes to a close. But before rescinding lockdown, I need to look up one more esoteric term. And so I type into a search engine:<\/p>\n

Miley Cyrus<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s time to look at the Internet. That means drawing the curtains, locking the front door, and putting tape over the webcam. The ultimate amount of care is put into hiding this activity. Well, that is until I write it here for my vast flock of followers and readers (aka: my mom and her sister\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-qQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1664","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1664"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1664\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1672,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1664\/revisions\/1672"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}