{"id":1696,"date":"2013-10-06T20:41:39","date_gmt":"2013-10-06T18:41:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1696"},"modified":"2013-10-13T12:18:38","modified_gmt":"2013-10-13T10:18:38","slug":"whos-afraid-of-the-big-bad-blog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1696","title":{"rendered":"Who\u2019s Afraid of the Big Bad Blog"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Who\u00b4s<\/a>The conversation subject was so innocuous that I can\u2019t even remember it. But I was out to lunch with my parents, so it led to a spat. All parents have the superability to send their grown children into childish fits of anger. My only memory of the argument was my dad’s request.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust don\u2019t put me in your blog, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

I laughed it off. During my summer visit home my posts had been primarily focused on my quirky family and the aggravations they sometimes elicit.<\/p>\n

Then my mom shared a post on Facebook, commenting that she was once again the foil and that she should be more careful in our conversations. Still, as I am wont to react Homer Simpson slowly to things, the realization was not immediate.<\/p>\n

That realization came in a departmental meeting with the boss a week ago. She looked across the table during a particularly tense moment and said, \u201cDame, this doesn\u2019t go in the blog, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

It dawned on me. People are afraid of the blog.<\/p>\n

Nobody really takes a blog too<\/i> seriously. It\u2019s just a blog, after all; everyone\u2019s got one. My friend\u2019s cousin has a blog about macram\u00e9; another guy has a blog on bookbinding. I have recently found blogs on Cthulhu, Australian travel, and I have long followed a blog on strange history. So, why would people worry? There is nothing to fear from a simple blog, they are just out there for some weirdos to write about squid monsters, giant red rocks, and mermaids in the 1600s. Or sweater vests and strange cats.<\/p>\n

Furthermore, it seems pretty common that many blogs die young. There are three or four posts in the first month, then once every month, then once every four months, then a post every sixteen months. These posts are interspersed with one-sentence apologies by the blogger about being busy. This has always seemed silly to me, since if they had a moment to write an apology, why wouldn\u2019t they have time to write a short post?<\/p>\n

This blog often tells a funny story, and I understand that if you are a character in that funny story then it might make you uncomfortable. This is probably because you are not in control. It\u2019s my skewed as hell point of view and I am \u2013 often \u2013 an unfair prick. But that\u2019s where the fun comes in. Well, for me anyway.<\/p>\n

If you are a character in a post, you are referred to as a letter: T, L, M, K, Z. I figure if you already suffer the humiliation of being seen with me in public, you should be spared written proof. This excludes those select few who have foolishly become a close friend, your names appear in my blog despite all backlash, whether familial, social, or political. Students and enemies are seldom named, but if so you get a pseudonym to protect your innocence. If you are my cat, then you are the B Monster.<\/p>\n

Despite my assurances of anonymity and the Blogger\u2019s Oath of Secrecy* some people speak as formally as they would their girlfriend\u2019s weapon-polishing father. Others nod, smile, and refuse to engage me in conversation. Of course, this could be less to do with the blog and more to do with my personality and overall hygiene.<\/p>\n

People, please don\u2019t be afraid of the big bad blog. I\u2019m probably not going to write about you.<\/p>\n

That is, unless you really<\/i> piss me off.<\/p>\n

*Does not exist. Truth be told, if it did exist, it would be void after two whiskeys or one difficult hour of writing. \u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The conversation subject was so innocuous that I can\u2019t even remember it. But I was out to lunch with my parents, so it led to a spat. All parents have the superability to send their grown children into childish fits of anger. My only memory of the argument was my dad’s request. \u201cJust don\u2019t put […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-rm","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1696"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1705,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696\/revisions\/1705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}