{"id":1717,"date":"2013-10-13T22:23:26","date_gmt":"2013-10-13T20:23:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1717"},"modified":"2024-08-20T02:42:37","modified_gmt":"2024-08-20T00:42:37","slug":"bring-me-food","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1717","title":{"rendered":"Bring Me Food"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Pizza<\/a>At this moment, I am the living embodiment of a man who is 39, drinks like he\u2019s 29, and recovers like he\u2019s 49. There\u2019s a thing existing in my head called pain. I am doing that morning after shuffle around my flat. I am in pajamas because putting on pants would hurt my head too much. I squint at things and grumble and moan.<\/p>\n

I have thought ahead. In anticipation of this exact situation, I bought a frozen pizza. My plan was to suffer, watch mindless TV, and eat pizza. Aka: A perfect hangover day. Enter Mr. Murphy and his shitty ironic laws that are the instruction manual to my life.<\/p>\n

My oven is broken.<\/p>\n

After reacting in a frankly melodramatic manner to something this minor, I shuffle over to the window and stare longingly down at the city. There\u2019s a whole world of food out there, but the mere thought of stepping out-of-doors is just insanity. What I really want is for someone to bring me food.<\/p>\n

I live on top of a hill. In fact, I live in the middle of a hill. This means that my view is magnificent, I don\u2019t have to worry about floods, and when the zombie apocalypse comes I\u2019ll have a good strategic position. But in practical every day situations, I am screwed. Every time I leave my house I either have to go up or down. Every time I come home I walk a mile from the metro or up a hill that would have winded Tenzing Norgay. Even going to my local pub means a seven minute walk down and then a ten minute walk up. I hate up<\/i>. And as anyone who\u2019s been here can tell you, everything in Prague is up<\/i>.<\/p>\n

One of my favorite aspects of living in Europe has been the increase in walking. Because of public transport and my lack of car, I walk far more than I ever did living in the U.S. Surely this is one of the very few things keeping me in the category labeled chubby<\/i> and out of the category labeled morbidly obese<\/i>.<\/p>\n

And while I normally don\u2019t miss cars and I really enjoy walking, at times it can be a pain. Like right now. It\u2019s times like these that I long for the uber-convenience of the United States. And first and foremost on this list of uber-conveniences is delivered food. While living in Pittsburgh, I developed several relationships with delivery people that delved far deeper than a customer-delivery person relationship usually goes. I knew about the Pizza Hut guy\u2019s kids, the gent at the Chinese restaurant used to answer the phone, \u201cHello Damien or Jamie (my equally order-happy flatmate).\u201d The delivery lady from another pizza place used to call on the way and ask us if we wanted her to pick up a six-pack. Sometimes she would schedule us last on her shift and stay for a beer.<\/p>\n

I no doubt lead a far healthier and more active life in Prague than I did in Pittsburgh. If I still lived there, I\u2019d be riding one of those scooters around the mall and wearing a muumuu.<\/p>\n

In any event, I still need food and feeling healthier doesn\u2019t help me out right now. And desperate times call for desperate measure, so I decide to cook my pizza on the stove top. This takes longer than you\u2019d think. And as it cooks, I’d kill for a Czech Dabbawala.<\/p>\n

I bet they’d even grab me some beer on the way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At this moment, I am the living embodiment of a man who is 39, drinks like he\u2019s 29, and recovers like he\u2019s 49. There\u2019s a thing existing in my head called pain. I am doing that morning after shuffle around my flat. I am in pajamas because putting on pants would hurt my head too […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-rH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1717"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1723,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1717\/revisions\/1723"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}