{"id":1729,"date":"2013-10-20T22:18:32","date_gmt":"2013-10-20T20:18:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1729"},"modified":"2015-11-01T12:24:36","modified_gmt":"2015-11-01T11:24:36","slug":"my-keyser-soze-moment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=1729","title":{"rendered":"My Keyser S\u00f6ze Moment"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Purple<\/a>I am talking to my dad; it\u2019s the Sunday call. As usual, we talk books and he talks movies. I have little to add since I\u2019ve spent my weekend watching reruns of Goosebumps<\/i> episodes. So the most I could tell him is \u201cviewer beware, you\u2019re in for a scare,\u201d which I decide against.<\/p>\n

My dad\u2019s taste in films includes films with subtitles, romantic comedies, and films that were made before 1940. And anything about, dealing with, or involving Italy or Italians in any way. The one thing they have in common is that they can all be viewed at home. My dad has furnished the home of the dude who owns Netflix and bought him a unicorn.<\/p>\n

So I am confused when he says, \u201cWe went to the movies\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDad, you went to the movies?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a movie theater?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNear other people?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you getting at?\u201d<\/p>\n

I cannot picture my parents at the movies, eating popcorn, sipping at oversized soft drinks. For one thing, they can\u2019t go there in sweat shorts or pajamas. And just as I am wrapping my head around this image, this gets said:<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, we saw Gravity<\/em> at the IMAX yesterday morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, at 9:30.\u201d<\/p>\n

I gear up for a serious mocking, since going to the movies at 9:30 on a Saturday morning deserves such. However, before I can start I am hit by a disturbing epiphany that comes in the form of a string of sentences I have said in the recent past. Here are some of them:<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to get out of here, I want to make sure I am home by 2 (pm).\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe party starts at 10 pm?! Are you kidding, that\u2019s my bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired, thank God we didn\u2019t go to a party tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going out, it might rain later.\u201d<\/p>\n

As these degrade further as to eventually make me come off as a Matlock watching, creamed corn eating curmudgeon, I will stop. But by the end of my epiphany I am staring agape at the phone, reminiscent of Chazz Palminteri (Italian) at the end of The Usual Suspects<\/i>. You know the moment, when he realizes that Kevin Spacey is Keyser S\u00f6ze <\/b>and then remembers all those things he\u2019s said as they add up at the last moment. Yeah, I do that.<\/p>\n

For most of us, turning into your parents is inevitable. We start picking up their mannerisms, habits, and even opinions to some degree. It has happened to me in installments. I catch myself saying things that hurt my very soul. I have long mocked my dad for the perennial sauce stain that graces every shirt he owns until he once pointed to the stain in the exact same place on my shirt.<\/p>\n

But where I have really taken after my parents is the early bird bit. I like to do things early and be home early and in comfy clothes, which is a euphemism for \u2018clothes that make me feel less fat\u2019, or as my mom might call them, \u2018eatin\u2019 pants.\u2019 I imagine it\u2019s only a matter of time before I\u2019m watching Italian films made in 1932 and going to the pub at 10 am. We all turn into our parents, and let\u2019s be honest, we could do worse.<\/p>\n

You could turn into Keyser S\u00f6ze.<\/p>\n

How are you turning into your parents? <\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am talking to my dad; it\u2019s the Sunday call. As usual, we talk books and he talks movies. I have little to add since I\u2019ve spent my weekend watching reruns of Goosebumps episodes. So the most I could tell him is \u201cviewer beware, you\u2019re in for a scare,\u201d which I decide against. My dad\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-rT","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1729"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2943,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729\/revisions\/2943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}