{"id":4783,"date":"2019-08-05T16:29:06","date_gmt":"2019-08-05T14:29:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=4783"},"modified":"2022-10-24T18:30:07","modified_gmt":"2022-10-24T16:30:07","slug":"the-go-between","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=4783","title":{"rendered":"The Go Between"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Neato Picture of Messenger courtesy of Sheila Terry <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I walk into the kitchen. It\u2019s 6:35 am, my mother has been awake for an hour and a half. I groggily begin my day, fumbling with the Keurig until it sounds like liquid is coming out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you know when Dad finishes today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoes he have to go to the bank?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t\u2026know.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOK. Is he up and in the shower?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not arrogant enough to think that everyone should know\nmy comings and goings, but since my mother has just awoken me from my blow up bed\nin the living room and since I walked into the kitchen seconds later and since\nmy dad sleeps upstairs, I sort of thought she\u2019d be able to piece it together\nthat I don\u2019t have any of the answers to any of the questions that she\u2019s asking\nme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I respond with a slight grump: \u201cMom. I do not know,\u201d I respond\nwith a slight grump, only really allowable before 6:50 am and after you\u2019ve been\nmildly injured in a game of pick up sports. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGeez, fine.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been visiting home for about ten days. Aside from my mild\nconcern at gaining six pounds a week at the greasy hands of cheesesteaks and\ndiner breakfasts, I am in heaven. Mostly this euphoria is gained by eating cheesesteaks\nand diner breakfasts. But it\u2019s also being ensconced in the pillowy comfort zone\nof being home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dad and I watch baseball and as much of the awful early 1940s\nmovies he likes that I can suffer through. I hang with my mom in the wee hours\nand while we run various errands. I spend my own time writing and editing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And answering questions and delivering messages. I have\nbecome a go between. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later in the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mom: \u201cWould you ask dad if he is planning on using my car\ntomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me (picking up her phone): But can\u2019t you just write him\nyourself?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mom delivers guilt trip based on her enormous generosity.\nSaid guilt trip is conveyed ingeniously without the use of one word. Rather she\nagrees with my comment and offers a sad look of longing for the days when her\nkids were appreciative and good-hearted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cGah!\u201d I jog upstairs and ask my dad the appointed\nquestion. He, knowing that this question is coming from my mom, answers the\nquestion with a slight head shake and a grunt that is slightly less translatable\nthan a character named Caesar in a movie about apes I watched earlier. I decide\nit\u2019s a \u201cno.\u201d Before I can leave my dad asks the question he asks roughly\nthirteen times a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you know what mom\u2019s making for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I respond with the same simian grunt, knowing that for him\nthere\u2019s no greater punishment than being left in the dark when it comes to\nfuture cuisine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is my day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a go between. My parents live in different villages and\nI am the cape-wearing village guy with a wandering eye who rides his horse\nthrough the intervening woods carrying a leather satchel with messages inside.\nI\u2019m just a bit too slow witted to be afraid of the bears and wolves in the\nwoods. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know my parents well enough to know what\u2019s going on. My\nmom is a renowned out loud thinker and this is her way of including me in her staccato\nthought process. It\u2019s nice and at the same time I end up wishing that we had more\nliquor in the house. My dads questions are geared in one of two directions.\nConsider: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Option 1. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad: \u201cDo you know what\u2019s for dinner?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Translation: \u201cGo find out what\u2019s for dinner. (Subtext: If it\u2019s\nnot something I would enjoy, find a way to make it something I would like and\nthen report back to me as soon as possible. Bring grape soda.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Option 2. We are eating pretzels. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad: \u201cDon\u2019t you want mustard for these pretzels?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Translation: \u201cGo get mustard for these pretzels.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From my mom I have delivered messages and questions about timing,\ndinner, my niece and nephew, a cat we now own (who has weird legs), and the day\u2019s\nschedule. From my dad I have passed back questions about breakfast, dinner,\nlunch, dinner, soda, dinner, snacks, second dinner, elevenses, the existence and\npossible location of chocolate in the house, pizza, pizza preference, pizza\ntoppings, whether the pizza is going to be delivered or if we need to go get\nit. And ice cream.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be honest, I am not terribly upset by it. I kind of\nunderstand. My sister lives at home with her two kids. My sister has enough on\nher plate (read: two kids) to be shuttling messages and half-answered questions\nbetween our folks. Her two kids are frustratingly too young to be of any help. Also\nthey don\u2019t understand subtext the way the rest of us do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This morning I am walking up the steps on my mom\u2019s\ninsistence to see if my dad has somehow gathered all of his strength to take a\nshower at 5:15 am. That\u2019s when it comes to me. This is my new chore. I don\u2019t\nget asked to mow the lawn or do weeding, but I do get asked to deliver messages\nas a convoy. And it\u2019s not a bad job to be given for being fed and comfortable\nfor a month in August. And so I ensure that my dad\u2019s in bed and try to leave\nthe room but not before being asked to ask my mom if we have any doughnuts. As I\nwalk down the steps, I imagine cheesesteaks and greasy diner food. It\u2019ll get me\nthrough the woods. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Neato Picture of Messenger courtesy of Sheila Terry I walk into the kitchen. It\u2019s 6:35 am, my mother has been awake for an hour and a half. I groggily begin my day, fumbling with the Keurig until it sounds like liquid is coming out. \u201cDo you know when Dad finishes today?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d \u201cDoes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4784,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/sheila-terry-messenger-on-horseback.jpg?fit=900%2C638&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-1f9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4785,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4783\/revisions\/4785"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}