{"id":4954,"date":"2020-03-16T18:52:54","date_gmt":"2020-03-16T17:52:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=4954"},"modified":"2022-11-01T06:15:01","modified_gmt":"2022-11-01T05:15:01","slug":"the-corona-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=4954","title":{"rendered":"The Corona List"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n-1024x576.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4955\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n.jpg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n.jpg?resize=768%2C432&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><figcaption>&#8220;A nice set. That&#8217;s what she said.&#8221; &#8211; M.D Joyce <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>This morning I awoke, made coffee and then sat down to work. It\u2019s there that I saw my note in my notebook: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Monday &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Brush teeth <\/li><li>Wash hands and face <\/li><li>Take walk &amp; visit nature <\/li><li>Finish and send article<\/li><li>Pitch two more<\/li><li>No Seinfeld <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh yeah.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I brushed my teeth and washed my hands. Then I took a walk from my east windows to my west windows. At the west windows I watered my plants. Nature visited. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Czech government has put us under a \u201cfull quarantine,\u201d\nwhich, as I suspected, has its caveats. The Czechs \u2013 bless them \u2013 would never\nlet us go without visits to the shop, visits to nature, and they would never\nkeep us completely isolated from beer. But we have to work from home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>Today, on my visit to the east windows, I noticed a few people\nwalking along on the streets. My visit to the nature in the west revealed\nnothing. I sat at my desk with my coffee, normally a comfortable, warming\nfeeling, but which today leaves me feeling a bit guilty and empty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am very grateful that the government is taking precautions\nand that people are listening and being responsible. But I am unhappy about\nhaving time at home these days. Free time feels different. A free Saturday, or\na week of R&amp;R, or a down period after a hectic time at work is like a well-earned\nreward. This time at home is uneasy and stressful, the way I used to feel in\nthe afternoons after I played sick to stay home from school. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So what to do? From what I have been seeing on Facebook and\nother websites a lot of people are trying to make staying at home a productive thing.\nI have been doing similar things. This past weekend I put together a Lego model\nof Dunder Mifflin\u2019s Office. I have also hung up pictures, rearranged the living\nroom, reorganized the kitchen cabinets, and cleaned the flat from top to bottom\n(with Burke\u2019s help). &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aside from the work I have to do today, my goal is to make a\nlist of a ten point Corona List. Monday\u2019s list is small (actually no Seinfeld\nis a big one). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Corona List <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make a reading list of 4 books and fuck those books up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finish editing the novel I\u2019ve been working on, put it together\n(it\u2019s in 4 parts) into one manuscript. Do not kill self while reading it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read through the novellas I have written, choose one, read\nit in depth, and outline editing process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take one online course through Yale. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take one online comedy writing course. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Somehow clean my bathroom of long hairs. The ones on the\nfloor look like little worms. I feel like Indiana Jones on assignment in there.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Work out every day. (I already do this. But I need to\ncounteract the sedentary lifestyle and dietary habits of a platypus man on\nquarantine.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Limit myself to one hour a day on Facebook, social media,\nand on news sites. In particular, limit my exposure to American Republican\npoliticians. In this time it\u2019s very dangerous for one\u2019s blood pressure to be\nhigh and those fuckers vault mine into the stratosphere. The stupidity is mind\nboggling. David Nunes should be kicked in the ass for the rest of his life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn the language of my cat. I think I\u2019m close to cracking\nher morning soliloquy (\u201cmraw, meaaaaw, meeeoooo, meeaawrrrrrr, mrrrrrrrrr\nbrcchhchhcc\u201d translates roughly to \u201cget the hell out of bed and feed me animal\nbyproducts you old son-of-a-bitch! Also, this is the first warning that I\u2019m\nabout to stand on your bladder.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Limit eating to 18-25 times a day. &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Get a job kicking Republican politicians in the ass for the\nrest of their lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hopefully this will blow over and we are back to relative\nnormality in a couple of months. If you have any ideas on things to do while under\nquarantine, I\u2019d love to hear them. Any comedic stories you\u2019d like to read, feel\nfree to send them along. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Good luck and keep your chin up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s what she said. &nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;A nice set. That&#8217;s what she said.&#8221; &#8211; M.D Joyce This morning I awoke, made coffee and then sat down to work. It\u2019s there that I saw my note in my notebook: Monday &nbsp; Brush teeth Wash hands and face Take walk &amp; visit nature Finish and send articlePitch two moreNo Seinfeld \u201cOh yeah.\u201d I [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4955,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4954","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/89766232_1177293219331345_6168889328568107008_n.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-1hU","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4954","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4954"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4954\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4956,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4954\/revisions\/4956"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4955"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4954"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4954"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4954"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}