{"id":561,"date":"2011-12-29T16:20:37","date_gmt":"2011-12-29T15:20:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=561"},"modified":"2012-10-27T14:45:37","modified_gmt":"2012-10-27T12:45:37","slug":"thank-you-very-much-pass-the-bourbon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=561","title":{"rendered":"Thank You Very Much…Pass the Bourbon."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"glug<\/a>I am staring at the site stats of my blog with depressing interest. I\u00a0hit the refresh button a few times and finally it happens. The total views go from 9,999 to 10,000 hits and\u00a0I celebrate, like a hillbilly\u00a0who’s just watched the odometer of his Chevy pickup go from 9,999 to 10,000 miles.\u00a0But instead of drinking a Bud Light and wearing a mesh baseball cap, I’m drinking a glass of Maker’s Mark and wearing a bathrobe.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
It is the holidays after all.<\/div>\n
My mother calls my blog followers my “cute, little followers.” This has no real meaning as “cute” and “little” are the only two adjectives my mom uses. She would refer to herpes as a cute, little STD. My brother calls the 10,000 viewers my “Wilt Chamberlain Fan Club.” But that would suggest a relationship with most of you that is misleading. I wanted to call you the 10,000 Maniacs, but there is very little call for Natalie Merchant references these days.This all means that there have been 10,000 viewers on my blog since
\nlate June, and that means that\u00a0I have irritated\u00a0new people,\u00a0and some repeatedly\u00a0more than\u00a010,000 times in the last six months.<\/div>\n
Now, let’s forget that blogs offering\u00a0nude celebrities get 908 million views in any given\u00a0three minutes. And that by saying the words “How to make money” you will ensure 6 million views in two days. This blog is about the meandering adventures of a near-sociopathic cat enthusiast and you still read it, so you are my special 10,000.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And you shall be rewarded. But how?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I have been thinking about how\u00a0I could repay you folks for reading. A brainstorm resulted in a Christmas picture of me and the B Monster. This was rejected when the cat refused to put on the elf hat. Other possible rewards included a theme\u00a0party and\u00a0(cute, little) party favors.\u00a0But I would be depressed when only Collin and Lee showed up and plus I don’t have any money.And then inspiration hit.I\u00a0like the\u00a0idea of the\u00a0readers being in control of my idiocy for once. And this,\u00a0combined with the stress of the holidays, led to one conclusion – a night of drinking.<\/p>\n

I can’t bring all of you drinking with me, but I think\u00a0it’s time for the readers to choose what I drink for a night. Basically, you choose my line up of shots and I will\u00a0drink them. And if I can remember anything,\u00a0I’ll write about it.<\/p>\n

So, if you’d like to punish me, and most of you do, write a shot you want me to have in the comment section of this blog and I will choose and drink ten of them. Preference is given to those people who often comment on the blog (Gabby, Emma, be nice!) so they will automatically be selected and the rest will be put in a hat and drawn by my attractive assistant – Christopher Galeone. Then he will make sure that I drink them.<\/p>\n

And even more importantly,\u00a0it will be Monday’s post. It will be a shot by shot account of this evening.<\/p>\n

So, once again, thank you very much for your support. The (cute, little) comments I get and the enjoyment some of you have had while reading the blog make writing it totally worth while.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Now, choose my shots!<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am staring at the site stats of my blog with depressing interest. I\u00a0hit the refresh button a few times and finally it happens. The total views go from 9,999 to 10,000 hits and\u00a0I celebrate, like a hillbilly\u00a0who’s just watched the odometer of his Chevy pickup go from 9,999 to 10,000 miles.\u00a0But instead of drinking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-93","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=561"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1003,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions\/1003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}