{"id":5879,"date":"2023-07-03T14:59:15","date_gmt":"2023-07-03T12:59:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=5879"},"modified":"2023-07-03T15:00:05","modified_gmt":"2023-07-03T13:00:05","slug":"its-a-bad-enter-body-part-here-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=5879","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s a Bad [Enter Body Part Here] Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m taking the dog for a walk,\u201d I call to Burke as I fit the dog into her harness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOK.\u201d       <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s beautiful outside so I will walk with the dog aimlessly for a while and, since I got no deeds to do and no promises to keep, I\u2019ll let the dog bring me where she wants and smell whatever she wants, no matter its state of decomposition. I will then carry her for a while, because she is a Shih-tzu and can only be pressed into walking for brief periods. But it\u2019s while carrying her around like a four-manned sedan carries Chinese royalty that I will subtly aim us towards a pub with outdoor seating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have packed a bag: a book, my notebook, a few doggy biscotti (mostly for dog, but if I\u2019m being honest I\u2019ve tried one). We leave. The day is perfect in every way. It\u2019s cool in the shade and warm in the sun, it\u2019s breezy and comfortable. By the time the dog \u2018tricks\u2019 me into picking her up, I am excited to note only a minor layer of sweat behind my knees. It\u2019s a good day. I direct us towards a pub called The Windmill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Windmill is perfect, set in a garden off the road. There are a few scattered people there when I grab a seat. It\u2019s days like this that make me appreciate life on Planet X. Burke will be joining me shortly and until then I\u2019ll read and have a beer and enjoy the warm weather. If everyone would just appreciate such content, the world would be a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I take out my book and search for my reading glasses. They\u2019re not to be found, sadly. I huff. And then I do something ill-advised and rash. I start reading without my reading glasses. I squint, realizing a dark cloud has moved over the pub. It\u2019s black.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the joys of aging is the appreciate the smaller things. A free afternoon, a good cookie, an hour of reading, lounging in bed on a Saturday. One of the great ironies of aging is that one small misstep can alter those joys into discomfort. And what body part causes that discomfort is like a rolling wheel of fortune either based on poor decisions or a universal joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While working out last week I stepped on the edge of the workout mat one time, turned my foot a fraction of an inch, and had to wear a compression brace on my knee for three days. A month ago I slept on my right side throughout the night and couldn\u2019t use my right leg for a good forty minutes after I woke up. Two weeks ago I made the mistake of sneezing while holding an apple and couldn\u2019t walk upright for two days. I find myself explaining these things as a Bad ____ Day. It\u2019s a Bad Back Day, a Bad Knee Day. A whine in the ear makes for a Bad Ear Day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And today, foolishly, I try to read without my reading glasses, thus creating a Bad Eye Day. I ask Burke to bring my reading glasses and she does, but the damage is done. I spend the remainder of our visit squinting and rubbing blurry eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the walk home, the clouds have moved in. Four beers have added to my sight issues. The trees in the distance look like green giants. I hum a tune to myself. Only as I get home do I remember the words<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello darkness my old friend\u2026\u201d    
   <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m taking the dog for a walk,\u201d I call to Burke as I fit the dog into her harness. \u201cOK.\u201d        It\u2019s beautiful outside so I will walk with the dog aimlessly for a while and, since I got no deeds to do and no promises to keep, I\u2019ll let the dog bring me where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-1wP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5879"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5879\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5881,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5879\/revisions\/5881"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}