{"id":6464,"date":"2026-06-30T16:29:24","date_gmt":"2026-06-30T14:29:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=6464"},"modified":"2026-06-30T16:29:24","modified_gmt":"2026-06-30T14:29:24","slug":"to-brat-or-not-to-brat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=6464","title":{"rendered":"To Brat or Not to Brat"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

On Friday morning, we head to Prague\u2019s Hlavn\u00ed N\u00e1dra\u017e\u00ed and board the train to Dresden. The train is cool and we have time to plot out our weekend. It\u2019s Germany. There\u2019s a tour of the old town Friday afternoon and a street festival on Saturday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The plan: we will do culture and then reward ourselves for being cultural by drinking beer and eating brats on Saturday. In this context, \u2018brat\u2019 (pr: women\u2019s foundation garment + T) is short for a particular style of German sausage, not a spoiled child who behaves badly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are things one does in Germany. One drinks beer. One treats schnapps like a cologne and sauerkraut like a breath mint. One does not argue with police officers. And one treats brat like a verb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We bratted yesterday in the old town.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are we bratting tonight?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have bratted a few times on our trip.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of the preceding would make no sense in any other civilized place. But in Germany they make perfect sense. It\u2019s as though the place lives with its own geographic grammar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We do our tour in heat that could melt a Peruvian pigeon\u2019s knuckle hairs. Our guide (Leo) does his best to steer us into little groves of shade while telling us about famous Saxon royalty. (If you\u2019re ever on a quiz show and have to guess a Saxon royal\u2019s name, just go with August and follow it with a single number and you\u2019ve got a decent shot). The tour is indeed quite brilliant and the guide is funny, and that is something I never thought I\u2019d say about a German tour guide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the tour\u2019s fascinating aspects, I was a bit distracted while walking and sweating into my sandals. I was thinking to myself: Will I brat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

You see, the internet has ruined my life. One day I was scrolling and \u2013 as usual \u2013 everything was bouncing off of me. End of civilization. Bounce. Climate disaster. Bounce. Some idiot in the GOP says anything. Bounce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then there it was. A video of a pig. Someone videoed a pig on its way to a slaughterhouse and the poor thing was genuinely terrified. It was shaking. It looked a little like my dog, who \u2013 when she has a fresh haircut \u2013 looks a little like a pig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, this didn\u2019t bounce. Pork was ruined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are moments in life when you are faced with a truth that ruins something. Christmas is never quite the same after some adult talks to you about Santa Claus. Eating takes on a little less joy when you realize that just about everything that tastes good is going to kill you slowly. And now pork has a face?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Damn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It didn\u2019t stop there, either. I found out that fish feel pain, plants cry, and house flies have families. What\u2019s next? I am afraid to look online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Germany, surrounded by brats, it was hard to deny their allure. I worked my rationalization muscle like it was triceps and I was a triangle push-up: Pigs are treated more humanely in Germany. (Maybe, but I have no way of knowing that.) If I don\u2019t eat a brat, someone else will. (Try again.) Fish also feel pain, at least I\u2019m not eating one of those. (Somewhere in Pittsburgh, my sophomore logic teacher felt a chill up his spine.) The rules of travel should overrule rigid personal guidelines. (Bingo!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t feel good about it, but this shame was mostly discarded by the immensely good taste of the brat. Brats. Before we leave, there are three of them. I don\u2019t feel good about those either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please don\u2019t tell my dog. She\u2019s just had a haircut.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Friday morning, we head to Prague\u2019s Hlavn\u00ed N\u00e1dra\u017e\u00ed and board the train to Dresden. The train is cool and we have time to plot out our weekend. It\u2019s Germany. There\u2019s a tour of the old town Friday afternoon and a street festival on Saturday. The plan: we will do culture and then reward ourselves […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6465,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/damiengaleone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/brat.jpg?fit=1152%2C2048&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EvEu-1Gg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6464"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6464\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6466,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6464\/revisions\/6466"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6465"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6464"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6464"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}