{"id":785,"date":"2012-06-04T14:33:11","date_gmt":"2012-06-04T12:33:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=785"},"modified":"2012-11-04T11:21:38","modified_gmt":"2012-11-04T10:21:38","slug":"stache","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/?p=785","title":{"rendered":"Stache"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Mustache<\/a>\u201cAhoj fe\u0161\u00e1k,\u201d says my favorite waitress at my local pub.<\/p>\n

I mouth the pronunciation (fesh-ahk) and ask my companion, N, \u201cDid she just call me a fascist?\u201d<\/p>\n

N has already burst into laughter that could require a trip to the hospital.<\/p>\n

My face gets red. \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

When N gathers his senses and shakes off a few aftershock giggles, he tells me that fe\u0161\u00e1k<\/em> means roughly handsome man<\/em>.<\/p>\n

For those readers who don\u2019t know me, and are not rolling on the ground emitting a laughter that is quite frankly uncalled for, let me just explain something in the most diplomatic terms possible: handsome is not a description that gets thrown at me on a daily basis. It is, however, the most recent in a rash of public \u2018situations\u2019 that I have been involved in since Friday morning.<\/p>\n

For you see, Thursday night I thought it would be hilarious to shave my beard and leave only a handlebar mustache. I was right.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up,\u201d I say to N. He orders shots and I become divine.<\/p>\n

Since Friday I have been pointed at, mocked, and called a colorful series of nicknames and 1880s occupations. On the other hand, I have been flirted with, eyed up, and asked by a woman if I could fix her computer. While I was jogging this morning, another moustached jogger chatted with me for five minutes. It’s possible that I joined a mustache jogging street gang. A woman asked if I played league volleyball.<\/p>\n

The only conclusion I have come to is that people attach their own very personal meaning to a mustache. Some attach a job (fireman, porn actor), abilities (fixing things, volleyball) and varying degrees of attractiveness to a mustache. Some women have treated me as though I was wearing a live tarantula on my upper lip and to others I am clearly the fireman Hobbit of their dreams.<\/p>\n

Which of these my favorite waitress is thinking is originally debatable, but becomes clearer when the entire wait staff starts calling me fe\u0161\u00e1k.<\/p>\n

They better hope I don’t call my jogging gang.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAhoj fe\u0161\u00e1k,\u201d says my favorite waitress at my local pub. I mouth the pronunciation (fesh-ahk) and ask my companion, N, \u201cDid she just call me a fascist?\u201d N has already burst into laughter that could require a trip to the hospital. My face gets red. \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d When N gathers his senses and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s1EvEu-stache","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=785"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1040,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785\/revisions\/1040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damiengaleone.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}