I pull the pick-up onto the PA turnpike (Hell’s Road) at a safe and reasonable speed. Collin is reading a fantasy novel. Kenny Rogers is telling us all about a gent who knows when to hold ’em. We are supplied – 2 ham sandwiches (with mustard), 2 apples (Granny Smith), 2 granola bars (1 chocolate, 1 peanut butter), a bag of blueberries and 2 Capri suns (kiwi strawberry – 100% juice)
The only thing that worries me are the apples – I have forgotten to bring floss.
OK, so we’re not exactly Hunter S Thompson and Oscar Acosta on a gonzo trip to Las Vegas with every drug under the sun. We are The Over 30 Roadtrip. Collin is not thirty (jerk), but his 27 years + my 36 years = 63 total years /2 = 31.5.
When one hears the word roadtrip, there are flashes of glorious shenanigans and male-fueled debauchery. One thinks of intended locales such as Las Vegas or legendary roads such as Route 66.
But here’s the thing – Collin and I are nerds. We like history and get indigestion. Our motto is ‘be polite,’ and our discussions have a disturbing number of references to Star Wars, the horror novels of John Connolly and The Simpsons.
So, naturally, the first stop on the Over 30 Roadtrip is Gettysburg National Park and Battlefield.
Our nerdiness is solidified here. We are enthralled by the options of free tours. We are disappointed that metal detectors are illegal here and we have a 45 minute discussion on Civil War era amputation practices.
But here, looking around at the people here at Gettysburg, something becomes clear. The people are as enthused as we are. They are fully focused on the tour guides, they are rushing off to documentary films as though they are narrated by Harry Potter. They are, for the most part, misshapen and unattractive.
We are surrounded by our people!
While non-nerds are enjoying America’s beaches and amusement parks, the nerds of America are at the national battlefields and museums. We are packing lunches and asking tour guides genuine questions about salient details that non-nerds can’t understand.
I guarantee every person in this park has a Kenny Rogers album and they all cry at The Gambler.
Nerds of the world unite and enjoy your ham sandwiches and granola bars!
Nerd or Non-Nerd? Be honest…
#1 by Lee Adams on July 21, 2011 - 6:27 pm
I am most definitely not a nerd. Tell Collin I’m on the fifth book of the book he’s reading, he still has my external DVD drive and I’m ready to beat his ass again at ‘Magic, the gathering’
By the way, you still have my pocket-protector. If it really was for a Halloween costume, why did you borrow it in March?
#2 by greg on July 21, 2011 - 9:51 pm
the words amputation and gettysburg will be forever linked. that is probably where the term “sawbones” arose. those guys cut off everything. there wasn’t a limb safe in central pennsylvania.
#3 by Emma on July 22, 2011 - 3:48 pm
a nerd? am i currently wearing superman underoos? possibly…. possibly….