Damien Galeone

Here are some things I’ve learned that keep me up at night for one reason or another.

Cows have best friends. They become sad if they are separated from them. And just like that I’ll never enjoy another steak. I’ll eat steak; I just won’t enjoy it.

A day on Venus is longer than a year on Venus. Venus rotates so slowly one Venetian day takes 243 earth days. But a Venetian year is 225 days. I commiserate with this as one 40-minute Latin class was longer than 500 Venetian days.

Pigeons are self-aware. They can recognize themselves in mirrors and discriminate themselves in videos. This means they have some level of self-awareness, which begs the question as to why they poop in front of people all the time.

Cows have accents. I wonder if French cows get annoyed when other cows can’t use their accents correctly. Maybe I’ll only eat French cows from now on.

Wombats poop in cubes. Scientists think this helps the poop not roll away and so more efficiently marks the previous owner’s territory. If I take a continuing education class, it will be to learn this skill.

A jellyfish known as the Turritopsis dohrnii can essentially live forever by reverting to its juvenile form after reaching maturity. Which fully sums up my retirement plans.

It’s illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland because they get lonely and are considered social animals. I hope someone is looking out for cows and their best buddies in a similar way.