Damien Galeone

As a writer for kids, I am granted the chance (read: forced) to read things that might be a bit off my radar. This something leads to knowledge – whether I like it or not. Here are some things I learned this week. Acquire this knowledge at your own risk.

The astronauts on the Integrity (Artemis II) have to work out 30 minutes a day. If someone in zero gravity works out 30 minutes a day that sort of undercuts all of my excuses. Astronaut jerks

The fastest ant on earth is the Saharan Silver Ant. Where he lives it’s 130 degrees outside and he eats formerly living things that have been baked by the sun. He takes 40 steps a second. After eating barbecue. I can’t take 40 steps in an hour after eating barbecue. I would be baked.

The quietest place on Earth is a room (anechoic chamber) in Minnesota. Most people freak out after a few second in there. This might be because they literally hear their skin crawling and their blood rushing through their veins.

The quietest place I have ever been was in a restaurant this afternoon having lunch in a room with about 20 Czechs. I think maybe 1 word was shared in that time and it might as well have been in braille. I would rather hear my blood rushing out of my veins than be in that room again.

There are now several animal highways and bridges throughout the world. I advocate this heartily. I have always hated sharing my highways with the slowpoke gophers and aggressive hedgehogs. It’s about time they get their own road. Are we going to give a highway system to people who keep their blinkers on for 16 miles. Cause I would pay extra for that.

And as strange as the world of science and wildlife get, they still can’t get stranger than American politics at this time. The White House was the location of a UFC cage fight event this week. I think Donald misheard America. We didn’t want to see a UFC cage fight at the White House. We wanted to see Donald Trump in a UFC cage fight anywhere. On Netflix. Cause I would pay extra for that.

Oh well. Some things you wish you could just unknow. For example, the better part of the last decade would go real well as a bad dream right about now. And I would pay extra for that.